How to Be Happy

Think about the happiest person you know. Were they also the wealthiest? When I think of happy people, I think of my own dad. He was probably the happiest and the most faithful person I have known. All you had to do was be around him and he would tell you. “Life is good. I wouldn’t change a thing.” But, he definitely was not the wealthiest person, and if you listened to him tell stories about his life, it was far from perfect.  He lived through some very traumatic experiences. I think we can learn how to be happy.

Success Trap

According to author Shawn Achor, The Happiness Advantage, only 10% of our happiness is determined by circumstances or the world outside of our own thinking. Unfortunately, most Americans are caught in the “Success Trap.”  We believe that success equals happiness. The more success we have, money, material wealth, status, the happier we will be. Stop and think about that a minute.  

My dad loved to tell the story of the time his sister, Thelma, got into a car accident with his father’s Model A Ford. They put her in an ambulance headed to the nearest big city hospital, which was in Charlotte, NC, serval hours away. His brother, Louis, and sister, Anne, rode with her in the ambulance. His father, my grandfather, followed on a bus.  After making sure she was settled into the hospital, they headed back home to the small town of Lumberton, NC. Louis and Anne rode back in the ambulance and my grandfather rode on the bus. On the way back, the ambulance got into an accident and another ambulance had to pick them up and take them back to the hospital. Ann and Thelma end up in the same room requiring major surgery.  

A Tough Day

When my grandfather got back to Lumberton, he was met at the bus station with a telegram (there were no cell phones then) that said he needed to head back to the hospital in Charlotte; he now had two daughters in critical condition. Meanwhile, back on the farm, my father and his brother, Lawrence, were in charge of the harvest. But, an “electrical storm” hit and lightning struck killing their only two hogs. Lightning also spooked the mule my father was using to haul corn out of the field. The mule took off, driving the wagon into the corn crib, destroying the corn crib, and causing all of the just harvested corn to spill out onto the rain-soaked ground. 

When my grandfather returned home late in the evening, he was met by my great grandfather who said, “Son, I got some bad news.” Of course, my grandfather was thinking is it possible for things to get worse. “Son, I know it seems bad, but I don’t want you to go off drinking. That’s not going to make anything better.”  Now, I’m not a drinker, but your car is wrecked, you have three children in the hospital, two in serious condition, the town’s ambulance is destroyed, your hogs are dead, your wagon is wrecked, and the corn harvest is ruined; these circumstances might drive anyone to drinking. Now, that was a tough day.

Six Techniques

Actually, the truth is opposite of how we usually think. Happiness is not dependent on success. Success is dependent on happiness. Achor’s research shows that 75% of success is determined by your happiness and performance. A positive attitude equals success. The best thing about this research is that you can train your brain to be more positive. Yes, being positive is learned behavior. You choose to be happy…or not.  I have some experience with this choice and let me tell you choosing to be happy is a lot more fun. So, this might be worth the investment. Here are some practical techniques you can do to train your brain to be happy. 

Gratitude:

“Count your blessings, name them one by one.” Count Your Blessings is a classic gospel hymn that many of us know. Make it part of your day to name three new things for which you are grateful. If you do this for 21 days you will have counted 63 gratitudes, but more importantly you will have established a positive habit. You could make Psalm 68:19 part of your daily prayer. “Blessed be the Lord, who daily loadeth us with benefits, even the God of our salvation. Selah.”

Journaling: 

Write down one positive experience from the past 24 hours. By writing down the details, you are actually reliving the positive experience (Philippians 4:8).

Exercise: 

Sure, we know exercise is good for us. It keeps our weight down; it makes us stronger, and it keeps us feeling youthful.  But, did you know that exercise can also make you happier? Exercise releases the “happy” chemical into our brains, dopamine, which is a neurotransmitter necessary for feelings of pleasure and happiness. What is the best way to increase your brain’s dopamine production? Exercise. So, walk, run, lift, jump, play — and get happy (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

Meditation:

This allows our brains to block out distractions and focus on one thing at a time. So, don’t just read the Bible, meditate on the scriptures daily. Soak it up and apply each concept, one at a time, to your life (Joshua 1:8).

Acts of Kindness:

Do something thoughtful for others. “Lord, expand my territory. Help me to minister your light and your love to someone today.” As humans, we are wired to feel the greatest self-esteem when we know what we do is worthwhile… when we know we are making the world a better place (Galatians 6:10).

Positive Self-talk:

Each of us has a set of messages playing over and over in our heads. One of the ways to promote optimism, hope, and happiness is to intentionally fill our thinking with positive self-talk (Proverbs 18:21 and Luke 6:43-45).

So, let’s learn a lesson about how to be happy from my dad, a truly happy person. Let’s choose happiness. Which one of these practical techniques might you work to deepen? Which one might you begin to develop today?

Copyright © 2019 Chuck Locklear

Also, see Busyness.

The Way Of Joyfulness

It may be an odd way to start out a sermon on joyfulness, but let me begin with the oft quoted quip of John Lennon who once said: “Jesus was all right but his disciples were thick and ordinary. It’s them twisting it that ruins it for me.” Indeed, that’s the cloud that has hung over the church ever since Jesus ascended to heaven in a cloud. Yes, Jesus has left the likes of thick and ordinary people to be his witnesses. And Lord, over the ages, we confess that we have made some pretty devastating mistakes: the crusades; anti-Semitism; antagonism toward science; justifications for slavery and white supremacy; attitudes of privilege deaf to Jesus’ urging us to community and compassion. 

Pursue Joyfulness

Today, the Apostle Paul invites us to pursue joy. Well, literally he said, “Make my joy complete … by being of the same mind, having the same love … that was in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 2:1-2). Wow, that is a beautiful passage! I can see that Paul would be happy to have a church unified in love imitating Jesus. But I don’t think that it would be misreading him to say that he elevates joyfulness as a pursuit that is more than just an emotional expression. I’d say he wants us to pursue joy!  I’ll go even farther and say that joyfulness was Paul’s measure for how the church lives out its witness to the world. 

I love the Acts of the Apostles, but you may not have thought of it as a place to find joyfulness. Acts is a treasure trove of stories demonstrating joy time and again. Joy is in their witness. It’s in their community. It’s in the way they walk! In Acts we read stories that tell of joy, not by explaining it, but Acts demonstrates.  There are stories of miracle and wonder, but more compellingly, there are stories where joy bubbles and overflows. In Acts, we find that joy is in our jobs and this frees us from an attitude of servitude. We find that joy can connect us to one another.  Joy can strengthen our resilience and be a companion as we encounter deep sorrow in life. And so, we will find ourselves enchanted by strange but compelling stories in Acts. 

Joy Marked Their Way

Acts starts with the story of Jesus’ ascension. The disciples were joyful at Jesus’ ascension? (Acts 1:6-12) Intriguingly, Luke writes about Jesus’ ascension both in his Gospel and at the beginning of the Book of Acts. One should notice that he tells the story with a slight difference. As the Gospel ends, Luke describes the disciples seeing Jesus “carried up into heaven,” at which point they “return to Jerusalem with great joy.” In Acts, no such joy is mentioned. New Testament scholar, N. T. Wright captures the gap between the two tellings of the same event: “Why would they be so joyful if Jesus has been taken away from them? Ought they not to be sorrowful? Might not his departure signal the start of danger, of fear, of the loss of a sense of direction? What is this ‘joy’ that they now have? And what is the reason for it?”.Yes, Luke uses the word joy, but Acts demonstrates it.

Before it was church and before they were called Christians, early believers were defined as belonging to “The Way” (Acts 9:1-2). That they were called “the Way” signified something more than a road or a path. It signified movement, a participation in the Spirit of God that wasn’t so much following any longer, but heading out. Yet, whether the “sent one” walked with others or alone, joy marked the Way taken. 

Their journey invites us to a question: Is this joyfulness still accessible today? These travelers on the Way didn’t understand Jesus’ resurrection as just a miracle of a dead person becoming alive again. For these disciples, the resurrection gifted them with a joy that would show as courage and imagination to see the world not just as it is – full of injustice and cruelty, privilege and tyranny – but as it could be transformed. Author Mary Clark Moschella says about them that “God’s gift of joy, experienced as deep awareness and aliveness, became for them a calling to compassion that would light and create pathways towards human flourishing.” 

Human Flourishing

The term human flourishing is intriguing. Today, we live in a secular age that became that way through a slow set of changes that have sometimes blazed and sometimes meandered over the last 500 years. But, I want to change your thinking about this phrase secular age. Don’t look at it as a subtraction equation which writes God out of the script. Rather, see a change in priorities. 500 years ago, society saw its primary goal as entering communion with God. 

Today, we have moved away from communion with God as the primary purpose to that of being attentive to human flourishing. That flourishing came about by and brought innovations like democracy, science, strides in human health and well-being, and the personal freedoms that give us unique and individual identity and worth. Those things are not in themselves bad. Look at it this way. God came down from the divine heavenly throne before which the saints cast their golden crowns, and moved into our neighborhoods, into ordinary lives and our human concerns. Maybe this was all a way for us to regain what the 2ndcentury church father Irenaeus sought: that the glory of God is the human being fully alive.” Now that is a goal our neighbors could buy into. 

John Lennon Missed Joyfulness

Maybe John Lennon missed that lesson on joyfulness when he learned in Sunday School days about Jesus’ disciples so “thick and ordinary.” Certainly, we have “twisted” their truth, the church “ruining” so much our history… and yet, deep down I find myself longing to live with joy, to “make it full,” as Paul exhorts us. I wonder if there is a joy that is at once a way of having communion with God and a means toward human flourishing. This is my desire. I pray that is your desire as well.  

© 2019 David Milam All rights reserved

The Journey Begins

Advice from a grandmother

Thanks for joining me on this journey!

Let me introduce you to me, Chuck Locklear. I have three decades of leadership experience. After 22 years of experience, I retired from my role as a high school principal and instructional leader. I also spent 14 as a training and marketing consultant for “Fortune 500” companies .

A sought-after speaker and teacher, I enjoys sharing the educational and managerial programs that I have developed. These include: Creative Problem Solving, Leadership in the Millennial Generation, Developing a Culture of Thinking, The Happiness Advantage.

Unfortunately, most Americans are caught in the “Success Trap.” We believe that success equals happiness. Accordingly, the more success we have, money, material wealth, status, the happier we will be.  Stop and think about that a minute. Think about the happiest person you know. Were they also the wealthiest?  When I think of happy people, I think of my own dad. He was probably the happiest and the most faithful person I have known. All you had to do was be around him and he would tell you. “Life is good.” “I wouldn’t change a thing.” But, he definitely was not the wealthiest person, and if you listened to him tell stories about his life, it was far from perfect. He lived through some very traumatic experiences. Actually, the truth is happiness determines our success.

On this journey, it is my goal to lead you toward success.

Also, see The Journey Continues.

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton

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Chuck Locklear

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