I use the word gratitude to describe my trip to Northern California with my son, because of the connection to joy. A line from the Paul Simon song Stranger to Stranger says, “I’m just jittery, I’m just jittery. It’s just a way I’m dealing with my joy.” This lyric is catchy and fun; but at first, it doesn’t make sense. Why would you be jittery about joy?
Brené Brown, professor and author of five New York Times best-sellers, describes joy “as the most terrifying of emotions.” Joy opens us up to vulnerability. She thinks of the joy she felt watching her sleeping child; “Whew! I love like I didn’t know it was possible!” But then … “What if something horrific happened? Something to take away joy?” I remember, feeling that way when Holland was a baby; “Just jittery, it’s just a way I’m dealing with my joy.” Yes, I was joyful and terrified at the same time. Now, I have experienced that same emotion with my grandkids.
In California we ate at Fisherman’s wharf, Chinatown, and Little Italy. Interestingly, we rode bikes across the Golden Gate Bridge on a day that was so foggy you couldn’t see more than 10 feet in front of you. We visited Muir Woods National Monument and saw the giant redwood trees. We climbed to the top of a mountain to see the “canopy view.” I even recorded an episode of Chuck & Lizzy while climbing up the steep, narrow trail to the top. I was grateful for being alive.
Recognizing the Good
Brené Brown suggests “when we lose our tolerance for vulnerability, joy becomes foreboding.” The key point is we must tolerate vulnerability so that joy may flourish. Joy is what happens when we allow ourselves to recognize good things. Brown illustrates this in the story of a man who kept life on an even keel. Never too excited; never too joyful. He avoided vulnerability. In his sixties, he and his wife were in a car accident. His wife of forty years was killed. The second he realized that she was gone, he thought, “I should have leaned harder into those moments of joy,” because not doing so did not protect him from what he now felt. Brown sums it up like this: “We try to dress rehearse tragedy, so that we can beat vulnerability to the punch. But it’s better to lean into joy.”
We can nurture joy by practicing gratitude. We can find opportunities to tolerate our vulnerabilities by practicing gratitude so that we can lean into joy. How might we intentionally practice gratitude? It can be in small ways. We can thank someone or show appreciation. We can be more generous, experiencing vulnerability by giving away ourselves, our money, and what we cling to. We can practice gratitude as a people who walk in the way of joy, sharing the news of God’s love, wherever we go.
Copyright Chuck Locklear 2019
Also, see How to Be Happy.