Joy and Gratitude

Joy is linked to gratitude, but not in a way that seems obvious. “For it is not joy that makes us grateful.” “It is gratitude that makes us joyful.” Practicing gratitude produces fruits of joy. The way of joy and gratitude is illustrated in the story of the Philippian jailer who finds that his prisoners have stayed to bring him and his house salvation (Acts 16:25-34).

Reminded of Gratitude

My 27-year old son, Holland, invited me to travel with him to San Francisco and he paid my way. It was a wonderful experience! One of his middle-school teachers responded to my Facebook posts asking, “Is that Holland?” Her question reminded me of my gratitude. I said, “Yes” and thanked her for helping Lizzy and I raise such a good young man. Then, I said, “There were days in middle school when we were worried.” A mom of Holland’s friend Nick chimed in saying, “Thank God they are both okay! It really does take a village.” This is so true and a reminder of the gratitude we should all have for those who have helped us along the way. 

San Francisco is a great place to visit, though, I can’t image how anyone can afford to live there.  I used my Zillow app to check home prices in every neighborhood we visited. The cheapest price I could find was a 700 square foot house for…$1 million. The cheapest rent was a 400 square foot apartment for… $2,400/month. Crazy! I suppose that is why they have so many homeless people and tent cities everywhere. 

Oakland Stadium

Our excuse for going to San Francisco was to watch the Detroit Lions play the Oakland Raiders.  Oakland is a tough town, just like Detroit.  It was fun watching Detroit lose in a different city. 

We visited Alcatraz, which is most famous for being a Federal prison, but started as a Civil War era fort and at one point was taken over by Native Americans to force the United States government into recognizing treaty rights for Native Americans. At Alcatraz, we learned a lot about Al Capone, the prisons most famous “guest.” 

Northern California is beautiful. We ate at Fisherman’s wharf, Chinatown, and Little Italy.  Interestingly, we rode bikes across the Golden Gate Bridge on a day that was so foggy you couldn’t see more than 10 feet in front of you. We visited Muir Woods National Monument and saw the giant redwood trees. We climbed to the top of a mountain to see the “canopy view.” I even recorded an episode of Chuck & Lizzy while climbing up the steep, narrow trail to the top.  

Gratitude Is Linked to Joy

I keep using the word gratitude to describe my trip because of the connection to joy. A line from the new Paul Simon song Stranger to Stranger says, “I’m just jittery, I’m just jittery. It’s just a way I’m dealing with my joy.” This lyric is catchy and fun; but at first, it doesn’t make sense. Why would you be jittery about joy? 

Brené Brown, professor and author of five New York Times best-sellers, describes joy “as the most terrifying of emotions.”  Joy opens us up to vulnerability. She thinks of the joy she felt watching her sleeping child; “Whew! I love like I didn’t know it was possible!” But then . . . “What if something horrific happened? Something to take away joy?” I remember, feeling that way when Holland was a baby; “Just jittery, it’s just a way I’m dealing with my joy.” Yes, I was joyful and terrified at the same time.  Now, I have experienced that same emotion with my grandkids. 

Grateful For Being Alive

In the example of the Philippian jailer, it was truly miraculous that God opened the prison doors.  However, equally miraculous is that Paul and Silas stayed put when the doors opened. In Roman times, to lose a prisoner was catastrophic. The consequences of a prison break would have meant death to the jailer and his family (upstairs) would have lost everything. However, Paul said: “Don’t take your life away: Jesus’ salvation has come.” One can only imagine the sense of salvation the jailer must have felt. He was saved from death; his family was saved for a future. Their entry into the new way of Jesus Christ was mirrored in their own gratitude for being alive. Theirs became a joy that was more consequential than their experiences of vulnerability. Joy poured forth from their deep gratitude at being alive. Salvation means wholeness. They were whole.  

Recognizing the Good

The key point is to tolerate vulnerability so that joy may flourish. Brené Brown suggests that “when we lose our tolerance for vulnerability, joy becomes foreboding. Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.”  Brown illustrates this in the story of a man who kept life on an even keel. Never too excited; never too joyful. He avoided vulnerability. In his sixties, he and his wife were in a car accident. His wife of forty years was killed. The second he realized that she was gone, he thought, “I should have leaned harder into those moments of joy,” because not doing so did not protect him from what he now felt.   Brown sums it up like this: “We try to dress rehearse tragedy, so that we can beat vulnerability to the punch. But it’s better to lean into joy.”

We can nurture joy by practicing gratitude. We can find opportunities to tolerate our vulnerabilities by practicing gratitude so that we can lean into joy. How might we intentionally practice gratitude? It can be in the small ways.  We can thank someone or show appreciation. Gratitude can be practiced in being more generous, experiencing vulnerability by giving away ourselves, our money, and what we cling to. We can practice gratitude as a people who walk in the way of joy, sharing the news of Jesus’ salvation to our world, wherever we go.

Copyright Chuck Locklear 2019

Also, see How to Be Happy.