Awkward

I wondered if he could see the beat of my heart that I felt so fiercely. Trying to distract myself with small talk, I said, “Your skin is so light. My guess is that you have some English blood… maybe an English trader for a father.”

Core Tom looked directly at me with eyes as cold as ice.

Obviously, I had picked the wrong subject. Many English traders had dubious reputations. Often, they cheated our people, and abused and raped our women. Perhaps, this was the case with Core Tom’s mother.

After a moment, his eyes softened, and he reached to finger the ribbon in my tiara. “Very pretty.”

Awkward Silence

Awkward silence filled the room. I made a second attempt at small talk. It turned out to be an equally uncomfortable choice. “Has your visit here been fruitful?”

In his eyes, I recognized thunder. “Lachte yendere… No good, I did not get the answer I expected. King Blount is fool hearted. Can he not see the danger of the English? How can doing nothing somehow result in a good outcome?”

His strong response surprised me. I listened intently, thinking, This is not how I wanted things to go.

Core Tom stood from the bench and began to pace. “Many of the warriors seemed ready to take up the fight. Perhaps, he is too afraid to make this tough decision.”

Trying to appease him, I responded, “Perhaps, our clan is different than yours. King Blount does not have complete authority to make important decisions like going to war. The women of our clan are strong. I’m sure he received counsel to hear your argument, but hold his tongue on committing any of his warriors.”

He stopped and turned to face me. “It seems you have personal insight into his decision making. Have you spoken directly with Ukuwana on this matter?”

“I have said too much. I should say only that the issue has not been decided.”

“Fair enough,” Core Tom began smoothing his tunic. “Runehu’hu, I have a request.”

My heart raced.

Spy?

“You obviously have a finger on the pulse of the leadership, and I know you share my belief that it is time to push back. I need someone here to be my eyes and ears. I know you cannot sway the decision. Just the same, you can watch for signs of change.”

This shocked me. “You’re asking me to spy on my own family?”

“Spy is such a strong word. As the coming conflict grows closer, I must know how much help I can expect. It may make the difference between life and death for many brave warriors. What I am asking for is communication outside of formal channels, which can take way too long.”

Discouragement settled in. I had let myself get carried away, and felt my hopes fall to the ground, pooling around my feet. I guess I’m not getting a wedding ribbon.

See also Marriage Proposal.