What Does Love Feel Like

I woke early the next morning and tied my long black hair in a knot. Heading out the door, I stopped to notice the sun’s rays chasing away the darkness and calling the world back to life. Remembering my purpose, I hurried to where the hunting party was preparing to leave. Searching discreetly through the group, I found Core Tom. He stood above the others, with his shoulders back and chest out, approaching people with ease, looking them directly in the eye. I could hear his booming laughter, even at this distance. My mind wondered what allowed me to open up and share such details of my thinking with this complete stranger. Coming to no easy answer, I walked back into the longhouse to find my aunt.

Once inside, I moved quickly through the center aisle, passing one family after another, several of whom tried starting a conversation. Yet, I did not stop and only politely responded, while continuing to move. Finally, I found my aunt on the porch, at the far end, filling a pot with dried, shelled corn.

Jane Gets to the Point

“E-a-nuh, can I help with anything?”

“You don’t call me ‘mother’ unless you want something.” She looked amused. “Help me carry this pot of corn. I’m gonna make hominy.”

Back at her quarters, I pulled another pot, hanging from the ceiling, to help grind corn. “You know, I met Core Tom.”

“Well, he certainly is a handsome young warrior.”

“Eanuh, you are not supposed to notice things like that.”

“Why not? I may not be young, but I’m not dead.” She gave me a playful nudge. “The King told me that he spoke highly of you, mentioning that you had been a great host. The King noticed a twinkle in his eye.”

Looking down, unable to meet her gaze, I did not respond.

After a moment, she broke the silence. “Well, it seems to me that you are interested in him as well. Is this not true?”

What does love feel like

Caught off guard, I cleared my throat. “Yes, there is something about him that intrigues me, and he seems to be a man of action. I admire that.” I looked directly at my aunt. “This is exactly why I wanted to talk with you. He and I spoke about the need to push back against the English. I get the feeling his purpose for being here is to propose to the King an attack against the colonists.”

She shrugged, acknowledging my intuition. “You are correct, my dear. Regardless, as the Ukuwana, the King needs my support for big decisions such as going to war.”

I tried to mirror her body language as she spoke. “Uh-huh.”

“You may also realize that there are many issues to consider before making such an important decision.”

“Eanuh, do you not agree that the English have no respect for us, only wishing to push us aside, like barking dogs? In their greed, their only concern is snatching up our women and children, to sell them for profit in the slave trade.”

Fighting the English

She did not stop working as she answered. “Not much to disagree with. It is true that the English are dangerous to our way of life. All the same, there is no certainty that we would be successful against them. Successful or not, we would certainly lose many brave warriors. Fighting against the English would require us to adopt their way of warfare. Spears and arrows will not win the day. We would need an endless supply of muskets and gunpowder. Already, the governor of Virginia has threatened to stop the traders from selling to us.”

I clenched my jaw and gritted my teeth, waiting for a chance to respond. Finally, I was able to interject. “Our goal would not be to destroy the English. No one thinks that this is possible. The goal is to teach them a lesson, making them think twice before entering our territory and claiming our land… or stealing our children.”

My aunt shook her head slowly to this argument. “Fighting them is not like fighting the Catawba, our enemy from the piedmont. The English are like the grain. There are more and more waves coming to us from across the great waters. They can afford to lose many more young men than we can. I’m afraid that any Tuscarora victory would be short lived.”

Also see Tuscarora Ancestors and Lumbee Tribe of North Carolina.