Positive Self-talk

Each of us has a set of messages playing over and over in our heads. One of the ways to promote optimism, hope, or happiness is to intentionally fill our thinking with positive self-talk.

Positive words creates the expection for positive outcomes.

Look for the Positive

Unfortunately, our pattern of self-talk is often negative. We remember the negative things said to us as children and we lock into this pattern of thinking and talking. Try this exercise. Write down some of your negative messages. Then, take a moment to intentionally counteract these with positive truths. Don’t give up too quickly. For every negative message, you can find a positive truth. They always exist; keep looking until you find them. For example, when you make a mistake, you can choose to apologize and say “I always make mistakes” or you can overwrite that message with a positive one, “I am constantly learning and will do better next time.” 

“Life is marked by failures and setbacks and slip-ups, as much as by hard-won satisfactions and sudden discoveries of strength. We need to help children understand that life is made up of striving much more than attaining.”

Fred Rogers

Words of Life Only

Allow only words of “life” out of your mouth. When you speak something, it becomes real. Our words become thoughts in our brains. Positive words become positive thinking, which creates the expection for positive outcomes. Negative words become negative thinking, resulting in the expectation for negative outcomes in our lives. We tend to see what we expect.

The good news is God has given each of us the capacity to grow and learn… to be better tomorrow than we are today. Yes, you can learn new ways to think and talk. You know that saying, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks?”  It is not true.  I learned from a man who trains service animals that even older dogs love learning new things. Wow, there is hope for all of us. 

After all of my years as a principal, I can attest to the power of positive talk. Parents who talk positively to and about their children create resilient, high-achieving students. They don’t give up when faced with challenges. They know that their efforts will allow them to overcome challenges, solve problems, and be successful. By your positive talk, you are putting messages in your child’s head that will serve him or her for a lifetime. 

Life Happens

Positive self-talk is not deception. It is not mentally looking at circumstances just as you want to see them. Rather, positive self-talk is about recognizing the truth, in situations and in yourself. One of the fundamental truths is that you will make mistakes; we all do. To expect perfection or a life with no difficulties is unrealistic. Life happens. 

Positive self-talk allows you to discover the optimism, hope, and joy in every situation. You can choose which messages you want playing in your head.

“The tongue can speak words that bring life or death. Those who love to talk must be ready to accept what it brings.”

Proverbs 18:21, ERV

Copyright © 2023 Chuck Locklear

Also, see Brain Development.