Self Control

When my kids were young, I forced them to attend the annual Lumbee Homecoming. This is held July fourth, in North Carolina, meaning it is hot. I love the pow-wow, the dancing, and drumming, but my kids could stand about fifteen minutes of this in the 100 degree plus weather. So, the reward that I promised was a trip to Myrtle Beach. They loved this. It would include time on the beach, swimming in the pool, rides at Broadway on the Beach, and Dinner Shows, like Medieval Times. One year, we learned a lesson about self-control.

Danger At the Beach

My sister decided to go ahead of us and take my son with her. Liz and I would follow in the van not far behind. When Liz and I were pulling up to the hotel, there was a great deal of commotion, with fire trucks, police, and EMTs lining the hotel driveway. Of course, Liz immediately thought that our young son was in danger. I erroneously said, “It is a large hotel with thousands of guests.” The chance that he was involved was remote. I was wrong.

When we got to our room, indeed, he and Edna were right in the middle of what turned out to be a violent domestic fight, which had spilled out into the hallway, right in front of them. When we got there, the blood was still fresh on the carpet. No, it was not a husband beating up his wife. The fight had been between two men. . . and it was violent.

He Made Me Do It

“But, he made me do it.” As a high school principal, I heard this statement or a version of it many times. My response was always, “We can’t control what others do or say, but we can control how we respond.” “But, I was angry.” We all get angry, we have to decide ahead of time how we are going to react when we get angry.

People we love and care about will do and say things that make us angry. We can respond by yelling, throwing things, and, as with the case of the two men, we can throw punches. Or, we can remove ourselves from the situation until we calm down and then return to work out a resolution.

Moses provides an example how not to respond. Moses is a notable person from the old testament. God used him to bring God’s people out from the land of slavery. There are so many miracles that God performed through Moses, most especially using his staff. However, at one critical moment, Moses disobeyed God and struck the rock, twice, when he was told to “speak” to it. Importantly, even this faithful servant of God did not escape punishment.

Why did Moses do it? The most reasonable answer is that he was angry. The Bible says many things about anger and it always advises us to keep it in check. Anger can destroy good things that we have built.

We All Get Angry

One could say Moses’ anger was justified. It was due to the complaints and the disobedience of the people he was leading. But, God expects everyone to learn how to control their anger, because of what it can cause. Anger caused Moses to disobey God.

Before someone can make a move or do anything, he or she must have decided or thought of it in their mind. Before we get angry, we need to decide ahead of time how we will respond.

We all get angry. “He made me do it,” is not a good excuse. What is important is how we respond to anger. Self-control is a Fruit of the Spirit in Galatians and evidence that we are being led by the Holy Spirit. We can’t do it alone. Therefore, let us say this prayer from King David:

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me.” Psalm 51: 10-11

Also, see Look For the Good.

Copyright © 2023 Chuck Locklear