Good Gifts

Who doesn’t like gifts? My sister loves giving and receiving gifts. Her birthday is just before Christmas. As a child, I remember how excited she was to use birthday money to buy Christmas gifts for others. Me on the other hand, I used my birthday money for myself. I had to learn to take joy in giving gifts to others.

“If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”

Matthew 7:11

In his book, The 5 Love Languages, Dr. Chapman explains that we all have a primary and secondary love language. His book is written for married couples, but its concepts can apply to all of our relationships. Leonard, my father-in-law, loved doing things for others. He would bring you a roasted chicken, cut your lawn, or put gas in your tank. Leonard missed, however, the fact that the primary love language of Carol, my mother-in-law, was gifts. He didn’t see the value in spending money on trivial things. So, he spend a lifetime miscommunicating his love for her. 

I introduced the first two love languages in my post Love Tank, Baby. This post describes the next three.

Receiving Gifts

You may have guessed, this is not a primary or secondary love language for me. But, I do know many people for whom this is their primary love language. Yes, this is true for Carol. She loves and cherishes gifts. She has a shelf with a collection of knickknacks, each has a special meaning. You can languish attention on her by giving her a well thought out and meaningful gift. Sadly, Leonard didn’t get this. He was a very practical man. Gifts were not important to him and he saw them as a waste of money. I wish I could have convinced him just how practical gifts are. They can be an insurance policy on a happy marriage. 

Acts of Service

Leonard’s primary love language was Acts of Service. He appreciated a meal made for him. Going grocery shopping can be an Act of Service. Going to work and providing an income can fall into this category. Cleaning the house and even scrubbing a toilet can be an Act of Service. Lol, this is where I draw the line. I think Lizzy inherited this love language from her dad. It makes her feel special when I do things for her. Even simple things, like bringing her a cup of coffee in the morning is an Act of Service. 

Physical Touch

Physical touch is a tricky one. It includes, but is not limited to sexual touch. Holding hands, for example, can provide a loving bond that communicates “I love you.” Nonsexual physical touch can also be a powerful communicator during times of crisis and disappointments. A partner’s hug or touch can provide the strength to make it through a crisis. Touch communicates that you are the one for me. It reinforces the bond of love in a relationship.

Cherish One Another

Learning how to give good gifts is worthwhile. Yes, the word “gifts,” as used in Matthew 7:11, can mean knickknacks with special meaning, but also giving a hug or holding someone’s hand. We can take comfort in the fact that our Father in heaven loves us and knows the gift we need when we need it. If you want to cherish those you love, develop the skill of giving gifts that mean the most to them. 

Copyright © 2023 Chuck Locklear

Also, see Love Tank, Baby.